


A Beginner's Guide to Magical Matchmaking

by JZXR7



Category: American Horror Story: Coven
Genre: Crack, F/F, Fiona approves, Foxxay and the greenhouse, Happy Ending, Madison has a crush and acts accordingly, Madison tries something before jumping to murder, Misty becomes even more impulsive than usual, Misty goes on a minor rampage, Out of love, Why we don't give people confidence potions. Ever., foxxay - Freeform, zadison
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-21
Updated: 2018-10-21
Packaged: 2019-08-05 12:43:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16367948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JZXR7/pseuds/JZXR7
Summary: Madison decides the best way to get rid of potential competition for the supremacy is making that competition brave enough to leave. Surprisingly, slipping Misty a confidence potion backfires. On the plus side, no one needs to be murdered.





	A Beginner's Guide to Magical Matchmaking

**Author's Note:**

> So. This happened. I'm sorry.

It was a perfectly "normal" day at Miss Robicheaux's. Three fights had occurred since breakfast, Stevie Nicks was blaring from the greenhouse, and Madison Montgomery was plotting something.

"Fucking swamp bitch..." Violently mixing the potion before her, Madison smiled. The dumb hippie had wanted to leave for the swamp, like, a week ago. She may not have had the guts to do it, but now she would. That or Madison would need to take drastic measures to guarantee her rise to supremacy. A bitchy voice inside her head pointed out that Zoe wouldn't like that. Which had nothing to do with what she was doing! 

Shutting the alchemy book she had swiped from Cordelia, Madison dumped the confidence potion into a thermos. Writing a brief message encouraging Misty to ingest the contents, she cheerfully signed it as "Cordelia." If Swampie's crush on the headmistress were any more fucking obvious they'd be seeing it from space, so she was bound to drink it no mater how bad it was.

* * *

 

 

 Misty was having the best day ever. Cordelia had sent a smoothie or something to her room, which was really nice of her. Must have been a health thing, cause it tasted kind of weird, but she felt amazing. Whistling cheerfully, she marched into the greenhouse. She was kinda hungry still, but that wasn't important because Cordelia was here! Misty loved Cordelia!

"Good-mornin' Miss Delia!" It was an amazing morning if Misty got to see her. She looked so pretty, with her hair and that smile and just...Wow!  _She should tell her that,_ a new internal voice pointed out. It was totally right, so Misty listened. "Ya look gorgeous today, Cordelia!"

Cordelia smiled tiredly. "Thank you, Misty. Ready to get started?" She nodded and bounced forward, grabbing a watering can and turning on Stevie. Cordelia grinned at her indulgently. She was even prettier when she smiled.  _She should kiss her._ The voice seemed pretty darn certain of that. And why not? It was a great idea! Marching forward, Misty swept Cordelia up onto the greenhouse counter and took the watering can out of her hands. Threading a hand through blonde hair, Misty placed a reverent kiss onto Cordelia's lips. 

Cordelia froze.  _She's probably just surprised! Kiss her again,_ the voice pointed out. Misty decided that it had some pretty great ideas so far, and pulled Cordelia back in. This time, Cordelia slowly began to kiss her back, hands coming up to cup her face. Her tongue softly brushed against Misty's lips, and this was the greatest day ever. Pulling away, Misty smiled down at Cordelia. The older woman grinned.  _She likes you! You should tell her you love her!_ That seemed like it would be a little rash, but Misty felt like taking the risk. 

"I love you, Delia. So damn much. And ya ain't gotta say anything. I just wanted ya to know." She would have kept talking, but Cordelia was grabbing her by her hair and her tongue was in Misty's mouth again, and suddenly talking was kinda boring. Cordelia was soft against her, and she really wanted to touch her.  _Why not go for it?_ Misty could think of several reasons, had thought of them only yesterday. Yesterday she also had reasons against even kissing Cordelia though, and look how dumb that had been. She yanked Cordelia forward by her hips, bringing their chests flush against each other. Cordelia moaned, and Misty decided to just do whatever the fuck the voice wanted because clearly, it was smarter than her. 

* * *

Cordelia groaned softly and rose from where she was sprawled on the countertop. Was there any chance she had just hallucinated the last hour or so? The bruises on her neck would suggest she hadn't, as would the pleasant soreness between her legs.  _Fuck._ That was...Unexpected. Absolutely wonderful, but unexpected. After Misty kissed her they had...Gotten distracted.  _Very_ distracted. Cordelia twirled around the greenhouse, giggling. Misty Day was in love with her. Misty Day had kissed her. Misty Day had...Done a lot of things, frankly. And then Misty Day had whirled out of the greenhouse in a tornado of shawls because she was going to die if she couldn't have breakfast immediately. Knowing Misty, this wasn't an exageration.  _Well then._ Clearly, it was a good thing she had filed for that divorce. Because in a competition between Hank Foxx and Misty Day, the victor was clear.

Gathering her skirt from where it had landed (and how on earth did it get stuck on the lights?) Cordelia made for the door. Food sounded pretty good at the moment. If she was lucky, she could get in and out without encountering her mother.

* * *

"-Oh, shut up. I don't wanna be no damn supreme anyway."

Cordelia closed her eyes, willing the image before her to magically go away. She opened them nervously.  _No luck. Damnit._ Misty Day was still standing on the table, renouncing her claim on the supremacy. Madison Montgomery was still cackling in triumph. And her mother was still looking furious in her seat.  _Shit!_

"Be very careful how you talk to me. I am, after all-"

"The crocodile-fuckin' supreme. We all know. Not for much longer though, right? Good riddance." Did she just? She did. She called her mother a crocodile fucking... Cordelia wasn't sure what to do in this situation. The choices were either to laugh hysterically or faint, and her mind chose the first one for her.

"Oh goodie, the prodigal daughter returns. How goes hiding in the greenhouse?" Fiona daintily sipped at her whiskey, brows raised in disdain. Clearly, they were ignoring the Misty-shaped elephant in the room. Misty did not appear willing to ignore them.

"You're a right bitch to her, ya know that?" Cordelia frantically motioned for Misty to stop talking. If Mother hurt her... "Pick on someone your own damn size, would ya?" No no no...This was not happening. Cordelia refused to let Misty get herself killed over her. Lunging forward, she grabbed Misty in the hope of dragging her off the fucking table, only to grab onto nothing but air. Misty, however, appeared exactly where she wanted to be. Specifically, slamming her mother into a wall.  _Please dear God let Fiona not kill her..._ Fiona didn't appear murderous. Actually, at second glance she was laughing. And smiling?  _What the fuck?_

"Well. I can't believe I'm saying this, but at least this one is better than Hank." Cordelia blinked. Fiona turned to Misty. "Try that ever again and I'll kill you." Misty grinned. Because she was about to be murdered, why would she not be grinning?

"So. This mean you approve?" Fiona nodded once.  _What. The. Fuck._ Misty skipped over to Cordelia's side of the table. "Are you mad I don't wanna be the supreme? Cause I don't. And I won't do it." Cordelia shook her head.

"I suppose magic will just have to choose someone else." Misty beamed at her.  _She's so fucking perfect. How did I deserve this?_

"Does that mean we can go back to the greenhouse? There are too many people here." Cordelia had barely nodded her ascent before Misty had swept her into her arms and sprinted off. Cordelia had a feeling she wouldn't be worrying about finding a new supreme for a rather extended period.

* * *

 Madison glanced at Zoe, who was squealing excitedly. "I knew they were perfect for each other."

Smirking in Fiona's direction, Madison tapped Zoe on the shoulder. She smiled flirtatiously, hands traveling down Zoe's arms. "I did that, you know." 

Zoe appeared slightly confused. "You got them together?" Madison nodded. If Zoe thought drugging Misty was somehow a good thing, then fuck yes she was taking credit. "That's so sweet of you! I had no idea you were a romantic!" She wasn't. Not a fucking bit. Zoe smiled at her, kissed her on the cheek, and muttered something about how she wished someone would sweep her off her feet like that. Madison made a mental note to drink some fucking confidence potion tomorrow.

 

 

 

 


End file.
